I am in a bad place right now; stuck between two opposing choices. Both choices have bad consequences so no matter which one I choose I will most likely end up in a bad place...

Imagine standing over a cliff with a hungry pack of wolves in front of you, advancing and salivating, ready to pounce. And then behind you below that cliff is a sheer drop to the sharp rocks below blasted by raging ocean waves. Which way do I go? Which death is less painful, less tragic? To me it is obvious. I'd rather die by my own accord than be a victim of circumstance.

It is no one's fault that the wolves are starving. It's in their nature to ravage the weaker species. My naivete and loss of direction, however, may have led me to the place I am now.

So I'd rather face death by jumping into the raging waters below than be eaten and let satisfaction reign among the wolves.

But it just hurts to realize that with my death I can not see my love again. For because of him I will die to give him an unblemished future with his chosen bride. His happiness is more important to me than my life. For without him my life is nothing, so what's the point of living when he is gone?